


Frasier Gets Weird

by iloveromance



Category: Frasier (TV), Shake It Up! (US TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 02:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20332216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveromance/pseuds/iloveromance
Summary: Successful in San Francisco as the host of a nationally syndicated radio show, Frasier is unexpectedly given the chance of a lifetime. But the golden opportunity is not what he had in mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to the memory of my wonderful husband who was the one who came up with the idea for this story. I'm sad that he won't get to read the finished project, but I hope that I do it justice. He was really excited about writing this and I love him so much for embracing my crazy love of fanfiction.

San Francisco, CA; The Nationally Syndicated "Dr. Frasier Crane Show"

"And so Marvin, in answer to your question... my advice is to go for it! Had I not decided to broaden my horizons, I would never have taken my agent's advice to leave my home in Seattle and my family in exchange for this wonderful city. I love San Francisco and I love what I do, giving advice to people in need. So Marvin, don't waste another moment! Hop on that plane and fly to Texas! And once you get there, I want you to go directly to Amy's house, drop to one knee and ask for her hand in marriage! So what do you say?"

Frasier's heart beat wildly in anticipation at the unexpected pause. "Marvin? Are you there?"

"Okay, Dr. Crane. I think I will! Thanks a lot!"

Frasier found it hard to join his producer in a rousing cheer, and smiled brightly instead.

"Yes! That's the spirit! Good luck my friend! Well America, that's all the time we have for today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane in foggy San Francisco, the City by the Bay, wishing you good mental health."

He clicked the button, ending his national call in radio show for another evening.

"Great show, Dr. Crane!" Ben called from the producer's booth. "You know, since you came on board, KBAY's ratings have skyrocketed!"

Although he was no stranger to praise for his soothing voice and impeccable ability to give advice, Frasier couldn't help but smile even broader. "Well thank you, Ben. I sincerely appreciate that. I'm happy I can contribute something meaningful to such a distinctive radio station."

"You must have been a big hit in Seattle!" Ben beamed.

Frasier's face flushed. "Oh, I don't know if I would use the word hit exactly, but I did manage to make Dr. Frasier Crane a household name in the Emerald City. Yes... Roz Doyle my producer, who is now the station manager at KACL, and I won many prestigious awards for our efforts. Dare I say that our success was due to the advertising on the city buses?"

Ben chuckled. "Dr. Crane, there's a call for you on line seven. Says they are calling from Seattle. Shall I send it over?"

Frasier waved his hand. "No need for privacy, Ben! Just put whoever it is on the air! It's probably a fan calling to say that I'm terribly missed on the airwaves of Puget Sound. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Watch this... a bit of radio humor at work."

"Hello again listeners. Yes, this is Dr. Frasier Crane again. I realize that our show has ended for the evening, but I have received a special caller and I couldn't resist sharing it with our K-BAY audience. So please enjoy this short extension of the Dr. Frasier Crane Show and my apologies to Margie of Margie's Pet World. I can assure you, Margie that tomorrow I will end my show early to allow you ample opportunity to recoup your time on the air."

He smiled and nodded at the annoyed glare of the heavyset woman waving her fist at him through the window as she balanced a squirming orange cat against her chest. She was worse than Bulldog when his show didn't start on time!

The blinking light flashed and he pushed the button.

"Hello caller, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm listening."

"Frasier, darling! How's my favorite sexy radio host?"

Frasier swallowed hard, afraid to look at Ben or Margie. This was the last person he expected to hear from.

"Are you there my pet?"

"What? Oh yes... Yes. I am. Bebe Glazer, everyone! My agent from Seattle has graced us with the presence of her voice! I must say this is quite a surprise. How are you?"

"Not as well as you, Frasier! You're the biggest thing on Talk Radio! America loves you!"

Once again, Frasier beamed as nostalgia set in.

"Well Bebe I can't thank you enough for giving me this opportunity. It's truly wonderful, although I can't deny that I miss my family terribly. My younger brother Niles who has a successful career in psychiatry, his beautiful wife Daphne, who was many years ago my father's physical therapist. It's funny how fate intervenes. When Daphne first came to us, my brother was in an unhappy marriage and through the course of eleven wonderful years; they fell in love and right before my departure from the Emerald City, gave birth to my handsome nephew, David. And of course I can't forget my father Martin Crane and his lovely wife, Ronee. And then there's my own son Frederick who lives across the country in Boston. He's quite a handsome young man and successful in school as he's working hard to-."

"Frasier!"

He looked up to find Ben pointing to the clock indicating that he'd been on the phone much longer than he intended.

"Yes, being here in San Francisco has opened up a whole new world for me!"

"And that world is about to become even bigger!" Bebe laughed.

"Bebe, what on earth are you talking about?" Frasier asked. He looked up to find Ben glaring at him, accompanied by Roger, the station manager and Margie who was saying something inaudible while waving her finger in Roger's face. But Frasier had no doubt that they were words that couldn't be said on air.

"America, I'm sorry I see that we have to cut this segment a bit short so please excuse my hasty exit. I promise that on tomorrow's show the mystery of this call from my agent in Seattle, Bebe Glazer will be revealed on air! This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good mental health."


	2. Chapter 2

With a smile on his face, Frasier turned off the ON AIR light and returned his attention to the call at hand.

"All right, Bebe. I'm all yours."

The comment made her laugh out loud and he could almost see her blushing. "Oh Darling, don't I wish!"

At her flattering remark, Frasier felt his own face beginning to flush and he quickly changed the subject.

"So tell me Bebe, what is this exciting news?"

"Frasier Crane, fasten your seatbelt! You are about to take a ride into fortune and fame! You're going to be a star!"

Frasier chuckled at her over-enthusiasm. "Well, I wasn't expecting to receive such an enlightening phone call but if I dare say so, I'm gaining quite a bit of fame right here on KBAY. I feel like I'm repeating myself but I can't thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to take my well-respected radio show to a national level! So please, tell me more about this ride into fame and fortune!"

"Well I don't have all the details, but I'm confident that I can land you a guest host appearance on a nationally televised quiz show!"

"Really... and where is this... nationally televised quiz show going to be held?"

"In the windy city of Chicago!"

Immediately Frasier's interest was peaked and he was almost euphoric. It was like a dream come true.

"Dare I hope that you're referring to the Illinois State Academic Quiz Show of which I would be the guest host? Dear God... I haven't thought about them in years! You see several of my esteemed colleagues and classmates at Harvard were former contestants. I've never met so many brilliant souls in my entire life!"

"I'll get back to you with the details as soon as I can darling, but just remember the most important thing. You're going to be a star!"

"Bebe, really... this is just... too much! You've already given me the opportunity of a lifetime!"

"That's nothing compared to what lies ahead! Now, I have to run but I'll call you the minute I know more! Goodbye my pet!"

"Goodbye, Bebe."

As Frasier hung up the phone, he couldn't help but smile. How could he not? He was going to be a star!


	3. Chapter 3

He was still looking down on Cloud Nine when he picked up the phone once more. His first thought was to call his father. Of all the people in Seattle, it was Martin who was the most emotional about Frasier's move to Seattle. And so Frasier made it a point to call his father at every opportunity, no matter how busy he was.

Since leaving Boston for Seattle, he'd experienced eleven years of reconnecting with his family. And he'd gained a few family members along the way. In that time, he'd learned to cherish every moment he spent with them. And now that he was separated from them once again, the importance of family relations was even stronger. And so it was with great excitement that he dialed the number that he knew by heart. Anticipation toiled inside of him as he listened to the phone ring across the miles.

"Hello?"

"Ronee! How's my favorite stepmother?"

A laugh on the other end followed by the inevitable reply; "Frasier if you were here, I'd take you over my knee for saying that nasty word! And you know I'm not afraid to do it!"

He laughed at her mock harshness, but he couldn't resist kidding her. Ever since she'd married his father on the day of his nephew's birth at the veterinarian's office, he couldn't think of a better person to fill in for his mom until Martin and Hester were reunited in Heaven.

"All right, I'm sorry. I know you don't like me calling you Stepmother any more than you like David calling you Grandma!"

"Well, David can't talk yet, but if that brother or father of yours ever teaches him that word, I'll-"

Frasier burst out laughing, realizing how much he missed his former babysitter. The fact that she and Martin had fallen in love was quite a blessing and it was funny to think that he was a little jealous of his dad for stealing her away.

Life certainly was funny sometimes and now it was about to take a different turn.

"So how is my favorite son?" Ronee quipped.

"Touché." Frasier replied. "Actually I'm calling because I have some very good news! I-."

"Wait, let me guess. You're getting married! Oh Frasier, I always knew that you'd find someone! Your father is going to be absolutely thrilled when-."

"Um, I'm not getting married, Ronee. Charlotte and I are… well, we're fine. But look, can you please put Dad on the phone? I really want to share this with him."

"Oh, I'm sorry Frasier. Your dad is sleeping right now."

Frasier glanced at his watch, taking some comfort in the fact that that both Seattle and San Francisco were in the same time zones. "At this hour? But it's barely 3:30 in the afternoon!"

Ronee sighed. "I know. But he's getting older and he tires easily."

The news pained Frasier's heart and the feeling of guilt of leaving Seattle for San Francisco returned. "Oh dear God, Ronee, he's not…"

"He's fine, I promise. He's just not as young as he used to be. But don't worry about him. Daphne, Niles and I are taking good care of him. Now what's this big news?"

"You know what? Actually, I think I'll wait. I want you both to hear this at the same time."

"Okay, I'll have him call you the moment he wakes up. And Frasier? Don't forget about us out here in the Emerald City. Come for a visit soon."

Frasier laughed. "But I was just there not two months-."

"Just come home when you can. Your father misses you and so do I. And that nephew of yours is getting cuter every day."

"All right, you talked me into it. But it might be a while because I have something in the works that is bigger than I ever dreamed."

"Oh, I can't wait to hear about it!" Said Ronee.

"I'll tell you soon, but first I need to do something. I love you and I'll call you later."

"I love you too, Frasier."

He smiled as he hung up the phone and then picked it up again. There was only one other person he wanted to share this joyous news with. And as he dialed he couldn't wait to hear the reaction from his best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

As he listened to the ringing phone from across the west coast, Frasier became more and more anxious. Never had a phone call to his brother meant so much to him. Except, perhaps the phone call he'd made to announce that he had a son. And to his great relief, the ringing stopped, replaced by a familiar voice.

"Hello?"

"Daphne, it's Frasier."

There was a tiny gasp on the end of the line and he could tell that his sister-in-law was a bit emotional. Ever since she'd given birth to his nephew David, her emotions had flourished; a trait that Frasier didn't mind at all. For it truly suited her.

"H-how are you?" She said with the tiniest bit of quivering in her voice.

"I'm fine, Daphne. In fact, I'm wonderful. No, make that more than wonderful. I'm euphoric!" He replied almost shouting into the phone.

"Well, it's been a long time since I've heard you so happy!" She said her voice lifting almost instantly. "Dare I ask if it has to do with a certain woman?"

"Actually it does. But Daphne, it's not-."

"Who's that on the phone, sweetheart?" Frasier heard his little brother's faraway voice ask.

"It's Frasier." Daphne replied, her muffled voice indicating that she'd attempted to cover the receiver with her hand. "He and Charlotte are getting married! Isn't that wonderful? Oh, I've got to call Roz! I'll use the phone in your office! I love you, Niles!"

Frasier could hear the soft sound of their kiss, followed by Daphne's shoes, moving across the hardwood floor. And then his brother's voice loud and clear, as though he were standing in the next room.

"Frasier, I can't tell you how delighted I am by this news!" Niles said joyfully. "Now, I know that I discouraged you in the beginning when you were pursuing her and she was with someone else, but I realize how wrong I was. And, I'm sorry. I pursued Daphne for years during which I was married to both Maris and Mel –the years of hell, I like to call them-but look at me now! I have a son and a wife that I'll love to the end of time and I'm happier than I've ever dreamed! I've always hoped that you'd find the same kind of happiness because you deserve it! Charlotte is a wonderful woman and Daphne and I can hardly wait for the wedding! Will you be holding it here or in Chicago? Oh, perhaps in San Francisco? You know, Daphne has been talking about going to the City by the Bay for months now and-."

"Niles, I'm not getting married!" Frasier shouted.

"What? Oh… Frasier, I'm sorry. I should never have jumped to such conclusions! But when Daphne said-."

"It's all right, Niles. Charlotte and I are wonderful. In fact, we've never been happier and perhaps, once day I will ask her to marry me, but I don't want to rush things."

"Of course not." Niles said.

"Actually this news was completely unexpected and I couldn't wait to call and share it with you! I'm sure you'll appreciate it more than anyone else."

"I'm listening." Nile quipped, making Frasier smile.

"I was doing my radio show and I got a call from Bebe Glazer of all people!"

"Bebe Glazer, your former agent? Well what did she want?"

"Niles, she offered me a once in a lifetime opportunity, hosting a nationally televised quiz show! In Chicago!"

He could hear Niles gasp in shock. "Oh mama! Frasier that's tremendous! I'm so happy for you, and dare I say a bit envious as well?"

"Oh Niles, this reminds me of our prep school days, and my time at Harvard when I attended the National Honor Society convention, mingling with the famed North Shore Mathettes! Maybe I'll be moderating their much-heralded math show where each team displays its calculus skills in a battle of wits to determine which team will reign superior!"

"Frasier I couldn't be more proud to be your brother than I am at his moment!" Niles said with unbridled enthusiasm.

"I'm going to rush over to the best men's clothing store in San Francisco, Hart, Schaffner and Marx for the perfect wardrobe!" Frasier pondered out loud. "I'll buy two suits, a navy pen stripe in tropical wool and another with just a hint of color! Perhaps a light weight grey striped suit!"

"And a Hermes leather portfolio to complete the ensemble!" Niles finished. "Oh, and you must have genuine silk ties! Nothing less will do! So, when does this show air?"'

"I don't know, but Bebe should be getting back to me soon with all the details. In the meantime, I'm going to try to call Dad again and then of course Frederick. Dare I say that Fredrick will be quite proud of his dad, don't you think?"

"Frasier, he's always been proud of you. We all are."

Frasier suddenly found himself missing his brother terribly. "Thank you, Niles. I love you."

"I love you too, Frasier. Now don't forget to keep me posted."

Frasier hung up the phone feeling even more excited about what was in store for him.


	5. Chapter 5

Eagerly Frasier picked up the phone once more and dialed Martins' number. To his great relief, the phone was answered quickly.

"Dad?"

"Fras, is that you?"

"Yeah! Dad, how are you doing?"

"Look Fras, Ronee told me that you called earlier and I meant to call you back. I just-well, my memory just isn't what it used to be."

The reality that his father was growing older hit him and he swallowed hard, trying not to think about it. Instead he forced a smile. "It's all right, Dad. The reason I'm calling is because I have some wonderful news!"

"Well, what is it? Tell me!" Martin shouted.

"Actually… Is Ronee there? I wanted to tell you both at the same time."

"Aw, no! You just missed her! She had a rehearsal or something. She wanted me to come with her, but… well, you know how it is!"

"Yeah, I do, Dad."

"So?"

"All right, I'll tell you. I was doing my show this afternoon and I got a call from the one and only Bebe Glazer!"

"You mean that wacky agent you used to have?"

"Dad, she's not wacky! She's just-Oh, all right, she's wacky! But Dad, she's offered me the opportunity of a lifetime, guest- hosting a national television quiz show!"

"Hey! That's great, son! I'm proud of you!" Martin said. "But didn't you try your hand at television once before? You know how that turned out, what with the elephant and all-."

"Yes, Dad, I know all too well how it turned out! But this is different! This is an academic show!"  
"Academic as in boring, right?"

Frasier rolled his eyes, grateful that his father couldn't see him. "NO, Dad, that's not at all what it means! So you'll watch?"

"Of course! When does it air?"

"Bebe hasn't given me the details yet, but as soon as I know something, I'll call you!"

"Have you told Freddy?"

"Yes, and he's almost as happy about this as I am! He even said that he'd get Lilith to watch it too!"

"Whoa! He is excited!" Martin yelled. "Wonder where Lilith will park her broom, while she watches the show?"

"Very funny, Dad! Look, I'd better go, but give everyone my love! I'll call you soon!"

"Okay, Fras. And I meant what I said. I am proud of you. Boy, first a radio big shot and now a TV star! Next thing you know you'll be offered a job coaching the 49rs! Of course the Seahawks are a much better team, but-."

"All right, Dad I get your point! Goodbye!"

When Frasier hung up the phone the studio around him was silent, giving him a chance to reflect on his pending fame. If, God forbid, this opportunity didn't go as planned, he still had the support and encouragement of his family. They were proud of him, and perhaps that's all that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

When he reached Union Square, Frasier had no trouble whatsoever finding the exclusive Hart, Schaffner and Marx men's clothing store. The prominent yet sophisticated sign beckoned him inside. He was greeted almost immediately by a man in what had to be a signature Hart, Schaffner and Marx suit in a deep charcoal grey. The man's appearance was impeccable and his slate grey tie lay neatly against his light gray shirt. The very picture of sophistication and even before meeting the man, Frasier knew that he would be in good hands. He smiled, feeling a bust of confidence and approached the man with ease.

"Good morning sir." The man said, extending his hand. "My name is Andrew. How may I be of assistance?"

Frasier shook Andrew's hand. "Pleased to make your acquaintance Andrew. My name is Crane. Dr. Frasier Crane, actually. And you may be of great service to me by helping me pick out a new wardrobe. You see, I've been chosen for the most exciting opportunity! I'm going to be hosting a prestigious national quiz show in Chicago!"

Andrew's eyes sparkled. "Chicago? Wow, great city! My brother in law is from there."

Frasier nodded. "Ah… Well, Chicago is special to me as well, not just because of this wonderful opportunity that I've been given-."

"Let me guess… A beautiful woman lives there?" Andrew quipped.

The thought of Charlotte made Frasier smile. It was difficult, being in a long-distance relationship;' she in Chicago and he in San Francisco. But all of that was about to change. He just knew that when he told her about this exciting new show that she'd be proud of him. He'd be a successful host of a prestigious quiz show and he could hardly wait to get on that plane.

But first things first.

"Yes… She's very special." He said, finally answering Andrew's question. "But about this quiz show and my new wardrobe..."

"Of course, Dr. Crane. I promise to take very good care of you. Just sit right there and make yourself at home. I'll be right back."

As Andrew had asked, Frasier sat on the leather sofa, surprised when he found himself surrounded by more Hart, Schaffner and Marx Sales Associates, who treated him like royalty, even offering him hors d'oeuvres and champagne. If Frasier hadn't known any better, he would have thought he was dreaming. But it was no dream. It was real.

Bernard, the store's tailor appeared with a tape measure, note pad and pen, and began taking careful measurements to ensure the perfect fit. Meanwhile, Andrew returned carrying two very impressive suits, holding each one up for Frasier to see.

"Dr. Crane, this black three piece pin-stripe suit will work nicely on you and I can assure you that it will give you a most professional appearance on television." Andrew advised.

Frasier took the suit from Andrew and disappeared into the fitting room, returning moments later to admire himself in the three-way mirror. "Wow, this looks incredible if I do say so myself!" He said, feeling no shame about complimenting his own appearance.

"It does look very nice on you, Dr. Crane. But perhaps you'd like to try this one on, just for size." Andrew said.

Frasier glanced at the more casual khaki blazer and pants and nodded. "You know, you're right. And they didn't exactly say what attire I should wear. I'll try this one on as well."  
Once again he disappeared into the fitting room and returned to admire himself in the mirror. It certainly was a sharp contrast to the black pinstripe, but it had a nice down-to earth feel. Perhaps that was just what the producers of the quiz show were looking for. He knew that he should have asked Bebe, but he was so grateful for just the opportunity that he gave no thought to the smallest of details. And so he had to make a decision right then and there. However the decision was an easy one.

"I'll take both of these!"

Andrew and the rest of the sales associates seemed delighted. "Great! Now we just need to add some accessories and you'll have a whole new wardrobe in which to take Chicago by storm."

The sales associates laughed at Andrew's unintentional humor. Or perhaps it was intentional. But either way, Frasier wasn't listening. He was too busy admiring himself in the three way mirror.

There was no doubt about it. He was going to be the best TV quiz show host that Chicago had ever seen.


	7. Chapter 7

Although his heart had been racing with excitement on his way to the airport, Frasier was completely relaxed by the time the plane lifted off the ground en route for Chicago. Perhaps it was due to the pre-flight wine (three glasses!) that he'd already consumed. It was just one of the many perks of flying First Class and he wouldn't have it any other way. But more than likely, his sudden numbness was due to the excitement that he'd carried with him since Bebe had called just days earlier. Soon he'd be in Chicago; a city that he'd always loved, where he was sure to achieve much greater success than he thought possible.

With a contented smile on his face, he turned to the man next to him. The man wore a business suit much like Frasier's own (But not quite in the same caliber) and held a newspaper in his hand.

"You're traveling to Chicago, are you?" Frasier asked.

The man lowered one corner of the newspaper and peered at him. "Looks that way."

Frasier laughed, realizing the absurdity of his question. But luckily the man didn't seem to notice. But he recovered quickly. "Of course you are. We're both on the same place. It's not like it can go anywhere else."

The man went back to reading his newspaper and Frasier quickly gathered his thoughts.

"So, do you come to Chicago very often?"

"Well, I'm producing a very successful Children's quiz show in Chicago, so yes, I'm there quite often."

Frasier's eyebrows lit up with interest. "A children's quiz show? That's fascination! You know, my son Frederick lives in Boston with his mother and he's a very bright boy. Well, he's not a boy anymore. In fact, he's almost a man and-." He laughed nervously "Oh dear God, listen to me, talking incessantly. I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous.

The man turned to him. "Nervous? You? Na… You look like a man who is overflowing with confidence."

Frasier's cheeks flushed at the compliment. "Well, I wouldn't say that, but thank you. I suppose its par for the course. I was quite famous in my hometown of Seattle and in San Francisco. I had my own local radio show in Seattle. You might have heard it if you were there. On KACL Radio. The Dr. Frasier Crane Show?"  
But the man shook his head. "Nope, can't say that I have."

"Oh, right of course. Well and until recently I had my own nationally syndicated talk show in San Francisco, under the same name; "The Dr. Frasier Crane Show."

"Not familiar with it."

"Oh… Well, anyway, it's all thanks to my agent, Bebe Glasser. In fact, as coincidence would have it, she's the reason I'm flying to Chicago in the first place. I'm going to be the guest host for what I've been led to believe is a very prestigious academic quiz show. In all likelihood, it will feature the Northshore Mathettes Math Competition."

"I-I'm sorry, who?"

"The North Shore Mathettes are some of America's most highly regarded math mathematicians. I had the pleasure of meeting a few of them when I was a student at Harvard."

The man looked genuinely impressed. And why shouldn't he be? "Oh, well that sounds like a great honor. I wish I could say the same about my quiz show."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You see, ours focuses more on entertainment than actual academic excellence." The man said, using his fingers as imaginary quotation marks around the words "academic excellence".

"Sounds fascinating." Frasier said. "When does it air?"

"I'm not sure. We haven't started casting yet. Our host should be arriving in the next day or so. But when it does air, I'm sure it will be a huge success. And I wish you good luck with your math thing as well."

Frasier chuckled. And shook the man's hand. "Thank you. Oh, wait a minute." He reached into his pocket and removed a business card. "Frasier Crane. Actually that's Dr. Frasier Crane."

The man's eyebrows rose. "A doctor, huh? That's impressive."

Frasier was about to ask the man's name when he heard the unmistakable sounds of the intercom overhead.

Ladies and gentleman, we will begin our descent into the Chicago area shortly and will be landing at O'Hare International Airport. In just a few minutes we will announce the instructions to put away all electronic devices. In the meantime enjoy the rest of your flight.

"I think I'll get some sleep before we land." Frasier said to the man beside him. "It was nice talking to you."

"Same here."

The smile was still on Frasier's face as he rested his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes.

He was on his way.


End file.
